Netflix Nigeria’s “A Lagos Love Story” review.

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I knew I was in for a mess the moment I saw the trailer Netflix Nigeria chose to promote this movie. A woman falling on top of a man (who by the way, was wearing glasses) in slow motion. That wasn’t even the worst part 😂. Sis was staring into his “soul” like she just discovered her twin flame… except his eyes were covered by dark shades. 🤦🏾‍♀️ I guess they were going for a little K-drama-style fall scene, but they missed the mark so bad, it looked like a parody.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I had high hopes for A Lagos Love Story. A romantic comedy set in the chaotic city of Lagos? Sounds like the perfect backdrop for a real, messy, exciting love story. But what I got instead was a disappointment wrapped in glitter, terrible afrobeats, and a love story that felt as forced as their first kiss in front of a suya joint.

Let’s break it down, shall we?

Plot? More like where’s the plot?

A Lagos Love Story

If you went into this movie hoping for an engaging, well-structured love story with depth and meaning, you’re about to be so disappointed. The plot was all over the place, making me wonder if the writers were just throwing ideas into a pot and stirring until they had enough material for a movie.

Instead of a love story, we got a series of disconnected scenes strung together by vibes, not substance. One moment they’re bantering, the next moment it’s like they’re madly in love, with no real transition in between. The leads barely get to know each other before the big romantic moments hit, leaving me feeling like I missed an entire movie’s worth of character development.

The plot felt more like an afterthought, they seemed to rely on the aesthetics of Lagos and some forced "cute" moments to carry the story, instead of actually building a meaningful narrative. Which, in my opinion, is a huge missed opportunity because Lagos is everything when it comes to storytelling.

The Leads? More like who invited them?

Now, let’s talk about the two people who are supposed to be the heart of this story, the leads. Let me be real: I didn’t buy it. There was zero chemistry. None. Nada. Zilch.

Meet Promise Quest: The Female Lead.

First off, what kind of name is Promise Quest? Is she a reality TV contestant? Promise spends most of the movie chasing after King Kator, playing her role as his "Assitant"or more like his babysitter, while crying her way through the entire thing. It's like she was born with a baby voice that never quite lets her show any actual depth beyond being emotional.

She spends half the movie sounding like she is about to cry for no reason, if she’s not obsessing over King Kator, she’s crying about a mother we don’t even know. Apparently, the government wants to take her mother's house, and she’s not having it. But again, no context, no real development. It’s just her trying to be the emotional core of the film, but the whole thing comes off as more irritating than endearing.

Meet King Kator: The Male Lead.

Now, let's talk about King Kator. Sigh. This guy could have been a standout character, but instead, he ended up feeling like a cheap Asake impersonation. I mean, does he even try to be his own thing? He doesn't have any real personality beyond being an aloof, nonchalant afrobeat Superstar. Promise is supposed to be looking after him, but half the time it feels like he’s just cruising through life without a second thought, leaving her to chase after him and do the emotional labor.

Their dynamic could have been interesting, but the lack of chemistry between them makes you wonder why they were paired together at all. He doesn’t bring anything to the table except being an emotional void, which makes the supposed romance feel as awkward as the first kiss in front of a suya joint.

Speaking of the first kiss, who has their first kiss in front of a suya joint? And he’s supposed to be a celeb at that. Of all the places in Lagos to kiss a woman, this is where it happens? 😭 It wasn’t cute, it wasn’t romantic, it was just awkward. Where’s the chemistry? Where’s the tension? It felt more like two people caught in an awkward moment than a climactic moment in a love story. If that doesn’t sum up this movie’s vibe, I don’t know what does.

Also, speaking of things that annoyed me, let’s talk about Promise Quest again. You know how in most romance movies the male lead calls the female lead a specific name, something unique to her, whether it’s a pet name, nickname, or even her surname (which, I admit, is a trope I’m not exactly a fan of). Well, imagine my irritation when King Kator called her “Promise Quest” every time, in an annoying ass rizzy tone, as if it wasn’t a weird enough name to begin with. It was like nails on a chalkboard.

Couldn’t he just have called her by a nickname, or, I don’t know, Promise? The way he said it just added to the cringiness of their entire dynamic.

Pacing? I’m still catching up.

Another major flaw: the pacing. This movie moved way too fast, with things happening out of nowhere and with zero explanation. One minute, they're arguing, the next they're suddenly in love, without any of the buildup or character development that should make that transition believable. I didn’t have time to process what was going on before another big moment hit, and it left me feeling more confused than engaged.

There were moments where it felt like they were just checking off boxes, racing through scenes without giving any real context or emotional depth. It was as if they assumed we’d automatically understand the characters’ feelings because, well, they’re in a love story. But it didn’t work that way. This wasn’t a romance that made you feel it was a rapid-fire sequence of events that never quite made sense.

Relatability? Not in this lifetime.

This movie made the cardinal sin of not being relatable. Lagos is not some sterile, soft, romantic city. It’s gritty, loud, chaotic, and full of surprises. A Lagos Love Story took the glossy, Hallmark approach to romance and dropped it in a city that deserves more authenticity than that. The characters and their “love story” felt like they were plucked from a different universe, one where no Lagosian would recognize them.

This isn’t a love story for Lagos or Lagosians. It’s a love story that happens to be set in Lagos, with no real understanding of what makes the city’s love stories pop. A true Lagos love story is messy, loud, and unapologetically imperfect. It’s about navigating traffic to meet someone at a saturday Owambe, not some sanitized “romantic moment” that could’ve been filmed in any random city.

Final Thoughts?

I wanted to love A Lagos Love Story. I did. But it wasn’t the movie I needed it to be. It had all the right ingredients, a beautiful setting, leads that looked good together on paper, and the potential for drama, but it just didn’t know how to put them together. The plot didn’t make sense, the chemistry was nonexistent, the pacing was painful, and the soundtrack was a flop.

It honestly felt like someone just heard Lagos Love Story by Ayra Starr and thought, "Yes, let’s make a movie on vibes." But that's the problem, vibes alone can’t carry a film. You need more than that. You need depth, relatability, and a true understanding of the city and its people, and this movie fell short in every department.

Netflix Nigeria had an opportunity to tell a fresh, unique love story, but they didn’t quite understand the magic of Lagos. And honestly? That’s a huge missed opportunity.

Rating: 5/10. One point for effort. One point for the setting. The rest? Well, they need to learn a thing or two from Isoken, the best Nollywood romcom, in my opinion.

Isoken